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forever_wanderingI know Japan is considerably safe, but I still tend to snicker whenever I hear someone say it's the safest country in the world. Some years ago, I spent some time working in Alaska as a night shift manager, so I always had my share of weirdos approaching me for a date or waiting for me when I got off work at 1 am. However, there had always been someone there who saw how uncomfortable I was--someone who always helped me out.
One morning, I was walking to Hibarigaoka station, on my way to Ikebukuro.
Students walked down the roads and shops opened. It was a noisy morning just like any other. A black van drove next to me, slowly, keeping pace with me. I assumed that it was going that slow because of all the people on the roads, and so, I simply ignored it and kept walking. Together, the van and I rounded a corner together, and a man in his late twenties, early thirties spoke to me from the van. "You're pretty," he told me, to which I pressed my lips together, looked the other way and kept walking. I figured he'd leave me alone if he assumed I didn't speak Japanese. Rounding another corner, he continued "Where are you from?" Once again, I ignored him.
He continued driving next to me, trying to make conversation as I walked. We got closer to the station and were forced to stop at a train crossing to let a train pass. "Do you understand Japanese?" He asked me from the car, "Do you know what I'm saying? Where are you from? Do you want a ride to the station? I'll give you a ride. Come on."
At this point, I was looking around, feeling eyes on me. People were glancing and yet no one said anything, not even the police officer that was standing just outside the police box next to where we were, so I continued to ignore him. The train passed and I hurried across, taking advantage of the fact that he had to drive slower because of the crowd of people crossing. I turned the corner and entered a convenience store. Even though I waited there for 5 minutes, when I exited, the car was driving around just outside! I was able to just duck in to the station and catch my train.
However, it still sticks in my head that no one said or did anything when I was obviously uncomfortable.
I wasn't expecting anyone to swoop in and save me. It's just not the Japanese way. However, I can't say that Japan is the safest place because of this experience. When strangers approach me in the US, I feel far safer than when strangers approach me in Japan.
So what brought this on? A friend of mine invited me to go to the Poconos in December, but because I'll be back in Japan by then, I had to decline the offer. When I told her this, she made a comment about how I was lucky to be going back to the greatest place in the world. I expressed my happiness over going home, but also expressed my dislike about staying in Ikebukuro again while visiting Tokyo before heading back to Osaka. She nagged at me for being spoiled, and so I told her this story to explain why I felt the way I did.
I guess my story was wasted on her though, because all she said in reply was: Well, you were probably wearing something that said you wanted him to follow you.
Oh, ok.
Anyway, as I told her, I'll be staying in Ikebukuro again until I head back to Osaka. I'm not sure if I'll be staying in Hibarakigaoka again though. My friend made it clear that I'm always welcomed, but I don't like the idea of staying alone with guys anymore. We'll see. I don't want to do anything that, you know, makes someone think I'm leading them on.
読んでくれて、ありがとうございました！
♥♡Zia♡♥
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no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 12:40 am (UTC)Even though I haven't been to Japan (and I'd love to go there soon!), I know that there are some places in there that should be avoided going alone to... specially for foreigners. :((
Stay safe, dear!
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 12:49 am (UTC)Also I hate when people say you were dressing or acting in some way that made people feel it's okay to do stuff like that to you. It's NEVER okay to stalk someone like that or make them feel scared, especially when they've made it clear they're not interested and are trying to get away from you!
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 12:59 am (UTC)You do get many people including so called friends who are fair weathered when it comes to your safety. Like a girl i was friends with left me alone at night at a deserted bus station to get the last bus which hadn't turned up yet. I even told her i was uncomfortable because i got attacked there once. Instead she made out that i was some weal helpless princess like person who was paranoid.
She was like you're an adult and are more than capable of looking after yourself, you shouldn't expect people to follow you around holding your hand for things, grow up.
I felt pretty crappy about it, until my big beefy friend matt told me she was a dick and jepodised my safety and he always waits with his mates female and male late at night when waiting to go home. So i was being sensible and she was just a dick!
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 01:04 am (UTC)'She played with her hair' - you were moving a strand of hair out of your eye.
You see where i'm going here? Don't be afraid of being yourself, they aren't are they?!
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:55 pm (UTC)Aahh, I have friends like yours. It's not about holding our hand and walking us through life. It's about taking care of a friend. It's about being a decent person and helping someone in need. If it's too inconvenient for you to stop and protect me when I'm missing something, then it's too inconvenient for us to be friends, I'd say.
Uggggghhh! And yes! I see that behavior so much!
It's amazing how many guys have approached me at bars like "I saw you looking in my direction," and I'm like...I was just looking around. Wow.
People are just impossible these days.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 01:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:56 pm (UTC)I don't even know.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 01:51 am (UTC)That is just so insulting on so many levels, I can't believe we as females tell other females Its probably what you were wearing or variations of.. like this gives someone the permission to act in a manner that is disturbing, creepy and down right scary.
I totally understand why this place has such negative memories for you, and that you even had to put up with such a creepy and what was a really scary experience.
HUGS
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:58 pm (UTC)More than anything, it makes me feel bad for her, because it says a lot about how she lets men treat her, in my opinion.
(no subject)
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Date: 2012-10-22 02:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:59 pm (UTC)That's why I wrote it. I want to make sure people understand that Japan is relatively safe, but that doesn't mean you can walk around like you're holy or something. Bad things will happen.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 03:15 am (UTC)It's the typcial ignorance. They pretend not to see things.
That's why the whole train grabbing works so well! Nobody ever says something or does something. It's often us foreigners who can't stand watching and try to help :/ ....
I'm sorry to hear you had this kind of experience. That was creepy indeed.
At least nothing bad happened, but I bet it was really annoying!
Japan has one of the creepiest guys in the world, I swear! x___X
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 07:01 pm (UTC)At least I'm aware that it's like this in Japan, otherwise I'd be a lot angrier at the situation.It really is a shame though that this kind of stuff happens.What's even worse is that there are so many people who worship Japan so much they refuse to believe these things happen.
It's usually these people who get hurt =(
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 04:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 04:44 am (UTC)I was so stunned, I feel the same now about you. That's awful; I can't even imagine what it feels like when there's people around not even moving for you. Even a policeman.It worse than everything, how could you feel safe after that ?
I tend to think that in this kind of country that looks flawless, societies always remains deep and hidden breaks. In this case, individualism over everything.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:47 pm (UTC)Exactly, exactly! There are a lot of deep, hidden things in Japanese culture.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 05:37 am (UTC)anyways...I'd seriously freak out if it happened to me D: and would be scared to go out alone D:
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:45 pm (UTC)Don't be afraid to go out alone. Just don't walk around as though you're God and nothing can touch you =)
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 07:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:44 pm (UTC)I guess it's because she's still in Puerto Rico where even cops use clothing as an excuse for a crime?
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 08:01 am (UTC)Sorry to hear your friend actually said THAT. ugh...
Anyway, glad to hear everything's fine~~
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:38 pm (UTC)Thanks. Sometimes my friends are rather...dumb.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 12:47 pm (UTC)I'm really sorry that that happened to you! I try not to go out in the evening on my own here because I got so sick of creepy guys coming up to me and trying to start creepy conversations with me when I was sitting somewhere waiting for one of my friends.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:37 pm (UTC)Exactly! Things rarely happen, but when they do, no one does anything and to me, that is a lot scarier!
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 01:37 pm (UTC)As for your "friend"... fuck her and her rape culture support. I can't believe, as a woman, she would say something like that.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:34 pm (UTC)I mean, I don't want to say "Oh well Japan is horrible because this happens" but I don't want people thinking it's entirely safe and that nothing bad ever happens, y'know? It's just being foolish.
Hm. These Asians. It's like they don't know the difference between minding one's own business and stepping in when something is about to go down. I mean I don't go gun-ho in to everyone's problems but when I see someone in a tight spot, I do my best to help.
Yeah, I was pretty much surprised. That "Oh ok" I wrote in my entry was my literal response to her before I explained. It really threw me off.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 05:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-10-22 06:17 pm (UTC)WHAT THE FUCK? Why do you even TALK TO THIS PERSON? I CAN'T.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 06:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-10-22 07:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 12:15 am (UTC)It might be time to get new friends!
no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 09:04 pm (UTC)Still, I'm glad nothing too terrible has happened to you.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 12:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-22 10:48 pm (UTC)I think most people assume that by having less violent crimes occur in an area makes it safe rather than safer than places with more violent crimes. No place is 100% safe and for some odd reason it's hard for people to accept that a crime is a crime whether it's murder or harassment.
Of course you have people who are so enchanted with places (like Japan) that they ignore those things altogether. A positive view isn't bad by any means but it's better to have a realistically positive view so I can understand your feelings.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 12:13 am (UTC)Then I feel guilty when something happens.
(no subject)
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Date: 2012-10-23 03:35 pm (UTC)I grew up in Jacksonville Florida. It supposily has a high crime rate, however when I lived there nothing ever happend to me. But I always did hear stuff on the news.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 12:08 am (UTC)They definitely go after foreigners more for that reason.That's why I'm always at a cross roads. I can shut up and pretend I don't know or I can shout at them in Japanese. Either way, I get unwanted attention.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 01:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 01:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-27 08:20 am (UTC)however back to your incident, it was simply unpleasant and weird... and
it shows how people react, no one cares.. I think situation like this aren't only in Japan,
who know who this man was... if even police didn't want to say sth, I assume maybe they knew who he was!
honestly just thinking about it make me uneasy, so I'm super glad you okey and you managed to lost him!
Be careful next time.. too many people in Japan makes you more and more annonymous..
so take care of yourslef there <3
about your friends, I think she was is typical person who love Japan and wish to be there with you or istead of you. She is jealous so no comment will speak to her..
no subject
Date: 2012-10-27 07:26 pm (UTC)Oh, you're right! I never thought of that!
Maybe he is a typical guy to that area so no one was surprised......
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2012-10-28 01:34 pm (UTC)Don't get old inside, age is just a mere number *huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs*
I wish you the best in your life.
Achive your goals, stay healthy and strong!
Travel a lot, meet new interesting people,
make a lot of photos ;D
be happy, don't take life to serious,
and let yourself be sometimes less perfect!
Smile a lot and dream even more~~ ♥
don't have real present for you, first don't ahve your adress, second you ddin't want anything XD
no subject
Date: 2012-10-31 08:09 pm (UTC)Thank you so much =D
John Michael Sheehan
Date: 2012-11-05 11:51 am (UTC)Re: John Michael Sheehan
Date: 2012-11-05 01:01 pm (UTC)