Because black vans are not at all dangerous.

[forever_wandering]

I know Japan is considerably safe, but I still tend to snicker whenever I hear someone say it's the safest country in the world. Some years ago, I spent some time working in Alaska as a night shift manager, so I always had my share of weirdos approaching me for a date or waiting for me when I got off work at 1 am. However, there had always been someone there who saw how uncomfortable I was--someone who always helped me out. 

One morning, I was walking to Hibarigaoka station, on my way to Ikebukuro.

Students walked down the roads and shops opened. It was a noisy morning just like any other. A black van drove next to me, slowly, keeping pace with me. I assumed that it was going that slow because of all the people on the roads, and so, I simply ignored it and kept walking. Together, the van and I rounded a corner together, and a man in his late twenties, early thirties spoke to me from the van. "You're pretty," he told me, to which I pressed my lips together, looked the other way and kept walking. I figured he'd leave me alone if he assumed I didn't speak Japanese. Rounding another corner, he continued "Where are you from?" Once again, I ignored him. 

He continued driving next to me, trying to make conversation as I walked. We got closer to the station and were forced to stop at a train crossing to let a train pass. "Do you understand Japanese?" He asked me from the car, "Do you know what I'm saying? Where are you from? Do you want a ride to the station? I'll give you a ride. Come on."

At this point, I was looking around, feeling eyes on me. People were glancing and yet no one said anything, not even the police officer that was standing just outside the police box next to where we were, so I continued to ignore him. The train passed and I hurried across, taking advantage of the fact that he had to drive slower because of the crowd of people crossing. I turned the corner and entered a convenience store. Even though I waited there for 5 minutes, when I exited, the car was driving around just outside! I was able to just duck in to the station and catch my train.

However, it still sticks in my head that no one said or did anything when I was obviously uncomfortable. 

I wasn't expecting anyone to swoop in and save me. It's just not the Japanese way. However, I can't say that Japan is the safest place because of this experience. When strangers approach me in the US, I feel far safer than when strangers approach me in Japan. 

So what brought this on? A friend of mine invited me to go to the Poconos in December, but because I'll be back in Japan by then, I had to decline the offer. When I told her this, she made a comment about how I was lucky to be going back to the greatest place in the world. I expressed my happiness over going home, but also expressed my dislike about staying in Ikebukuro again while visiting Tokyo before heading back to Osaka. She nagged at me for being spoiled, and so I told her this story to explain why I felt the way I did. 

I guess my story was wasted on her though, because all she said in reply was: Well, you were probably wearing something that said you wanted him to follow you. 

Oh, ok. 

Anyway, as I told her, I'll be staying in Ikebukuro again until I head back to Osaka. I'm not sure if I'll be staying in Hibarakigaoka again though. My friend made it clear that I'm always welcomed, but I don't like the idea of staying alone with guys anymore. We'll see. I don't want to do anything that, you know, makes someone think I'm leading them on. 

 読んでくれて、ありがとうございました！


♥♡Zia♡♥

Comments

[kat-desu.livejournal.com]

That is very creepy! (>_<)
Even though I haven't been to Japan (and I'd love to go there soon!), I know that there are some places in there that should be avoided going alone to... specially for foreigners. :((
Stay safe, dear!

[burger.livejournal.com]

That's awful, I'm sorry that happened to you :( I get what you're saying; there are weirdos and creeps all over the world and dangerous places all over the world, but knowing that people would look the other way and pretend not to notice that you're distressed so you essentially have no help can be very unsettling.

Also I hate when people say you were dressing or acting in some way that made people feel it's okay to do stuff like that to you. It's NEVER okay to stalk someone like that or make them feel scared, especially when they've made it clear they're not interested and are trying to get away from you!

[starling27.livejournal.com]

Unless you had a sign that said 'if you're in a black van please come on to me' i doubt that wearing anything different would've helped. I hate when people say that, victim blaming, of course when they're in that situation, ohhhh all that changes!

Even i squirmed when i read your story :( but you did the right thing by going into the store. But i would also say that next time, it is ok to ask for help, especially from a police officer. He should've intervened, but they have to be careful with interfering in peoples affairs. It's wrong i know, but their may have been a number of non-crime related things that would've made you look uncomfortable. So next time, it's ok to walk over to the officer and say, and generally just get him to walk you to the station :)

You do get many people including so called friends who are fair weathered when it comes to your safety. Like a girl i was friends with left me alone at night at a deserted bus station to get the last bus which hadn't turned up yet. I even told her i was uncomfortable because i got attacked there once. Instead she made out that i was some weal helpless princess like person who was paranoid.

She was like you're an adult and are more than capable of looking after yourself, you shouldn't expect people to follow you around holding your hand for things, grow up.

I felt pretty crappy about it, until my big beefy friend matt told me she was a dick and jepodised my safety and he always waits with his mates female and male late at night when waiting to go home. So i was being sensible and she was just a dick!

[starling27.livejournal.com]

Not to mention, if a guy makes a move on you he will do it even if you 'lead him on' intentionally or not, because he wants to. If they try and make out that you lead them on, ignore it, at the end of the day its up to you whether you welcome the attention or not, and it really doesn't matter what you wear, do or say, they will use anything as an excuse

'She battered her eyelids at me' - you were blinking
'She played with her hair' - you were moving a strand of hair out of your eye.

You see where i'm going here? Don't be afraid of being yourself, they aren't are they?!

[phantomtantrum.livejournal.com]

That is creepy, and whats with the you were wearing someone to make him follow you?!

[noir-au-blanc.livejournal.com]

Um what?

That is just so insulting on so many levels, I can't believe we as females tell other females Its probably what you were wearing or variations of.. like this gives someone the permission to act in a manner that is disturbing, creepy and down right scary.

I totally understand why this place has such negative memories for you, and that you even had to put up with such a creepy and what was a really scary experience.


HUGS

[shadoweon.livejournal.com]

God that is really creepy. D:

[chochajin.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Japanese people will usually never do anything in situations like that.
It's the typcial ignorance. They pretend not to see things.
That's why the whole train grabbing works so well! Nobody ever says something or does something. It's often us foreigners who can't stand watching and try to help :/ ....

I'm sorry to hear you had this kind of experience. That was creepy indeed.
At least nothing bad happened, but I bet it was really annoying!
Japan has one of the creepiest guys in the world, I swear! x___X

[promiseoftin.livejournal.com]

Nothing irks me more than when people blame the victims of unwanted attention/sexual advances! I'm very glad you weren't hurt. And you should punch your friend for suggesting you "asked for it"!

[cocojewels.livejournal.com]

Woah. That story is really creepy. It reminds me when my sister almost got rapped once.
I was so stunned, I feel the same now about you. That's awful; I can't even imagine what it feels like when there's people around not even moving for you. Even a policeman.It worse than everything, how could you feel safe after that ?
I tend to think that in this kind of country that looks flawless, societies always remains deep and hidden breaks. In this case, individualism over everything.

[nekohae.livejournal.com]

damn and I read in one of the books that it's really safe on japanese streets, even at night. Like nobody's really bothering you....I guess I should stop believing in everything what books say >>;
anyways...I'd seriously freak out if it happened to me D: and would be scared to go out alone D:

[moldy-blues.livejournal.com]

wow, that is terrifying! I also can't believe what your friend said. I hate when people think what you wear is an excuse for harassment.

[notte0.livejournal.com]

there's always the good and the bad in everything, so I'm not surprised that despite Japan being known for "a safe place", weirdos DO exist.

Sorry to hear your friend actually said THAT. ugh...

Anyway, glad to hear everything's fine~~

[jimjamjenny.livejournal.com]

I'm always scared that something will happen to me in Japan, because even though I feel like there's less chance of somebody trying to do something here than there would be in... London, or somewhere, I know that nobody here would do anything about it at all.

I'm really sorry that that happened to you! I try not to go out in the evening on my own here because I got so sick of creepy guys coming up to me and trying to start creepy conversations with me when I was sitting somewhere waiting for one of my friends.

[koyaaniisqatsi.livejournal.com]

That's so creepy about your experience. I'm very glad that you remained safe! <3 People say that Korea is sooooo safe as well but I have friends that have been followed home by creeps, two of them were even approached by a guy masturbating over them. And the police did nothing! Apparently my city has a school that has this creepy guy that stands outside of the grounds and touches himself while watching the kids - and the police haven't done anything about it. A friend and I were at a train station and this drunken Korean guy kept following us around the platform, yelling and looking like he was about to hit us. Everyone just watched and didn't say a thing. It disgusts me.

As for your "friend"... fuck her and her rape culture support. I can't believe, as a woman, she would say something like that.

[krissasaur]

I don't want to seem rude, but would it be at all possible for you to change your font on your layouts CSS instead of in the entries?

[kurikuribebi]

I don't know how to do that. If I did though, I definitely would because it's annoying for me too, to do it in the entries.

[krissasaur]

Do you want me to help? It just doesn't work well with my layout so your entries aren't readable on my f-page.. AND I FEEL BAD SAYING ANYTHING, but I like you an stuff and would like to read you

Just looking, I think you should have a thing here like:

.entry { color: #9C9194; font-family: arial; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.2; text-align: justify; }

and you can change this to whatever you wnat you font look look like. (Such as 'color:#9C9194' to 'color:#000000' etc.

[kurikuribebi]

It's no problem at all! I expect people to tell me when things don't show up properly! I can't fix problems if I don't know they exist, right? Anyway, I found the code you have there! I went back and tried to fix it in the code and applied it to the entry. Hopefully, it shows up correctly now!

[krissasaur]

I guess my story was wasted on her though, because all she said in reply was: Well, you were probably wearing something that said you wanted him to follow you.

WHAT THE FUCK? Why do you even TALK TO THIS PERSON? I CAN'T.

[krissasaur]

I don't know what you mean by "Applied it to the entry" but, anyway.

You might need to tweak that code a bit to your liking.. but that is where you can control how font looks in entries. If something doesn't work feel free to ask me though. I wasnt really able to mess with it properly because of the font codes in entry, so I may have missed something. ^^

But yes! I can read it on my f-page now! yay!!!

[kurikuribebi]

I meant to say that after I fixed the code as you had shown me, I went back and re-posted the entry to see if it displayed correctly =)
Everything looks fine now though. Thank you so much!

[kurikuribebi]

I always try my best to talk with friends from high school but it looks like none of them have grown up. I really need to completely drop a lot of them, but I feel bad.

[krissasaur]

Oh okay! I thought something was wrong. No problem.. I actually feel bad for saying anything at all, but I felt worse that I couldnt read your entries ;;

[krissasaur]

I get you, a lot of my friends are like this as well, and I just... I don't really want to even call them friends anymore ;;;

I just don't understand how someone can just sit their and contribute to rape culture like that, especially another woman.