That Exhausted feeling I've come to enjoy

[forever_wandering]

As I look over my planner to check what needs to be done today, I listen to the train pass by. On that train are people who get up earlier than I do--are way more productive than I, and it makes me feel lazy. I used to be that productive. I used to be up at 6am, ready to tackle the day....but lately, my feet don't touch the floor any earlier than  7AM. 

So, maybe that's why my days feel so busy? It's not that I have more things to do compared to before. I just have less hours to do it in. 

I really need to start getting up early again.

 

Lately, I've been going to bed completely exhausted, and by that I mean my eyes are closed and I'm knocked out before my head even hits the pillow. When I wake up though, I always feel refreshed. They say that those who work hard often live longer. I wonder if there is any truth to that. 

In other news: 
I feel like I'm being reborn. Recently, I started reading more books in Spanish, listening to Latin music and just the other night, we went out to a Salsa club. Never in a million years did I expect to feel this good socializing with people who come from my same background.  Could it be that blending in to a culture for Take's sake forced me to forget my own, which was why I felt so miserable with my life? Who knows.... 
But what I do know is that lately, when I look in a mirror, I don't find myself thinking "Ah, I need to straighten my hair. Why is my skin this tan?" I find myself feeling happy with my wild hair, my tanned skin, these curves I used to hide so much...



It's time to start embracing the family and culture I was born in to. 

Comments

[kurikuribebi]

Yeah, it's been pretty fun so far. I can't believe I've let myself go without understanding my roots for so long.

I think 5am is a good time to wake up! It gives you plenty of time to do things through out the day. Today, I woke up at around 6:30 but fell right back asleep. I need to train myself to stay awake again.

[notte0.livejournal.com]

that's good :D
recommend us some Spanish books then, I'll hunt and see if those might be available in English or Portuguese ;-)

[kurikuribebi]

The one I'm reading right now is called Guia Triste de Paris. I hope there is an English version of it, since I'm having issues completely understanding it in Spanish. The writing style is so confusing!

[angelachibayuy.livejournal.com]

You should always be happy with who you are. And you never have to embrace or throw away any of the cultures you like, have fun and mix them. ^_^

And you don't seriously think getting up at 7am is late do you? I mean... 7 is still incredibly early to me. Hehe.

[kurikuribebi]

Yeah, I'm realizing that now!
Before Take's mom liked me though, she was hell-bent on getting me to conform as much as I could, so I guess that kind of got stuck in my head until just recently.

Ahaha. I guess 7am does sound early, but it's really not! To me, getting up early means being up and moving before or just as the sun is starting to rise.

[introspicere.livejournal.com]

Hah, I know what you mean. I used to get things done so often back when I used to wake up early. I wake up at 6 a.m. now when I used to be up by 5 a.m., too. I'm suddenly reminded of when I was in Japan and my host father liked waking me up when it was still dark out; he couldn't understand how hard it was for me to wake up. In my defense, I live in a tropical country, so being in Japan in winter (the cold!) made waking up such a problem. I never wanted to get out of bed. Haha!

I do think it'll help, though. Waking up early, anyway. Also, working hard makes people feel more fulfilled, i think, but being stressed out does the opposite. Haha! Be careful ♥

As for reconnecting with your culture, I'm really glad you're feeling that way. I think that's why people who study abroad join organizations with people from their home country... They miss being a certain way rather than having to blend in all the time. :) Yeah, I just am happy for you! I hope you'll stay this way for a long time. :)

[kurikuribebi]

Well, you know, for me, waking up early during winter in any country is damn near impossible--even if it isn't cold. It's winter, I'm sleeping in! lol.

Yeah, being stressed out isn't good...which is why I think we need to get up earlier. If we have more hours in a day, we have more time to get things done and then we have less stress. We also get to go to bed early, which makes us all pretty and stuff=p

I've met many people from Spain, but I honestly feel there are about..maybe...10 Puerto Ricans in all of Japan! People say we're everywhere...but it doesn't seem like it.

[chochajin.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean.
I'm always so busy and never get things done. It doesn't make me feel lazy, because I'm not, I'm just not good at managing my time well - or at least I think so.

Wow, I could never get up so early (well actually today I did ...).
When do you go to bed, though?
I work until 10pm and then usually just cannot go to bed before 1am.

And I think it's great that you embrace your cultural background so much now ^-^ and obviously enjoying it a lot, too! ^^

[kurikuribebi]

I *know* I'm not lazy but whenever I don't finish my list for the day, I feel like I must have slacked off somewhere. I guess it's true what they say--you are your own worst enemy!

For the past few weeks, I've been like that. I've been going to sleep at around 3am. Some people can pull it off, but I'm not too good in the health department, so I really should rest properly.

I'm glad too! If only for the fact that I understand myself better. A lot of people who move to Japan seem to forget that, I feel, looking back on it now. Most of my other foreign friends don't remember much about their cultures anymore either.

[chochajin.livejournal.com]

I can't pull it off anymore either.
When I'm traveling I don't sleep much, but that's a different story.
When I was MUCH younger, I could go on with only 1-2h of sleep or no sleep at all for many days. Oh, the times.
So, I hear you!

Really? Strange.
I do! And I miss it! And I will go back eventually.
Actually, being away from my own culture for so long made me realize how special it is and that I should appreciate it more :)

[warriorofdream.livejournal.com]

don't be too hard on yourself..
I was woke up before at 7:00 always a do stuffs, now when I have free time I need to sleep to 8:00 or 8:30 to feel full charge and you know what I do more things that I do before..
i don't think it's a matter on which hour you wake up but of condition of your body and organization :D

that's good.. it seems you accept yourself more and more <333333333333333

[kurikuribebi]

When I wake up early, I feel charged and ready for action. When I sleep in, I tend to not push myself to do anything. I'll wale up and just lay in bed all curled up. Don't know why.