PIECES OF ME

[forever_wandering]

My birthday was pleasantly simple and relaxing. I enjoyed it very much. Instead of getting presents, I asked people to save their money for a moment when I needed something. Everyone was surprised I didn't want to be showered in gifts, but you know, I have everything I want and need at the moment. Why be greedy? 

Anyway, So, why am I sad? I had an appointment today and it turns out I'm going to need surgery. My blood is infected with a bacteria that is slowly eating at my bones. The surgery can't repair the damage already done, but it will kill the bacteria. It requires three treatments and the entire process costs about $2,000, which isn't in my budget right now. The seriousness of the situation didn't hit me until I was shown my X-rays, and honestly, I'm a bit scared. 

Not to mention, angry. Things were finally moving in the direction I wanted and this gets thrown at me? Just yesterday I made a huge declaration on facebook about how I was going to many this year--my 24th year--my best and happiest year, about how I would accomplish all my goals and become someone I can be proud of, and now I get this giant kick in the face.  Of course, I can still work hard and do what I'd like to do, but appointments and treatments and Specialist meetings are only going to delay things. 

NOW THAT THE NEGATIVITY IS OUT OF MY SYSTEM...!! 
Because I'm definitely going to kick this thing in the ass, so I don't want to stress over it too much. 

I'm looking forward to being in Tokyo again, even if it's only for a short time. I love my Osaka life, but I've missed my Tokyo friends dearly. Part of me is really thinking about  moving over to Tokyo, permanently. I mean, I have my Osaka friends and I love them, but I have better relationships with my Tokyo folk. Yeeees, I can take the bus or the shinkansen to see them, but week after week? It starts adding up.... 

A lot of my friends that had gone abroad to study are returning to Japan, so we plan on having one big happy reuinion. Some are Osaka bound, while others are Tokyo bound, so we might all meet up in Shizuoka, since it's the middle ground. Not 100% sure yet, but looking forward to it. 

I don't know if I've lost weight since I don't have a scale anymore, but I'm definitely looking more trimmed! I've had to abandon a lot of my remaining clothes and start wearing the clothes my younger sister left behind. So I'm wearing...hand me ups? I only want to take a few things from here, so I hope all my old things still fit! 

Comments

[burger.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you had a good birthday, and here's a belated happy birthday! :D I think asking everyone to save their money for later is a great idea too.

Sorry about the surgery, though! I really hope everything goes as smoothly as possible and you get better asap, but it sucks that this is putting a temporary block on doing things you want to do. Best of luck with that and I hope it doesn't make your 24th year any less wonderful!

Your flight plan looks amazing!

[kurikuribebi]

Thanks. I was a bit freaked out at first and I'm still a little worried about how I'll pay for everything and get everything treated, but I'm feeling much more positive about handling it.


Yes, I'm excited =D

[promiseoftin.livejournal.com]

Wishing you positive thoughts during this tough time. *hugs*

[kurikuribebi]

Thank you!

[iron-valkyrie.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you had a good birthday. ♥

I'm sorry to hear about the surgery, though. ;-; That sounds incredibly scary and I really hope things turn out the best for you. /sends hugs

[kurikuribebi]

Thank you so much!

[kat-desu.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed your birthday. Saving money instead of buying presents is a lovely idea.
I'm sorry to hear about the surgery but from this entry I know that you will fight I can only support you through my message. がんばれ! Keep on fighting and stay strong, dear! I will be praying for your full recovery. *hugs*

I think it's a good idea to move to Tokyo, permanently. Also, Congrats on the lost weight!

[kurikuribebi]

Thank you so much for your support. I will do my best!


Yeah, maybe I'll stay a year at my job in Osaka, and then move to Tokyo.

[phantomtantrum.livejournal.com]

Cute pic! Sorry you are having to deal with that hun, that really does suck - but you sound like you have a positive attitude about it and thats half the battle! One day I shall get to Japan and come say hi!

[kurikuribebi]

You definitely have to come say hi =D That would make me feel so much better.

Osaka. Remember, Osaka!

[ninchu.livejournal.com]

O gosh, I hope your surgery will go well though. It doesn't really sound like something you can postpone.

[kurikuribebi]

It's not, which is why I'm kicking myself in the face all of a sudden about having to go back to Japan now. Not one of them ever found this sickness in my blood, despite the numerous times I was hospitalized, so I don't trust them to do any kind of surgery.

[cocojewels.livejournal.com]

I am cheering you so hard so than you could achieve all your goals. You know that's hard but not impossible. Never stop never give it up !

[kurikuribebi]

Thank you, thank you!
I need people to remind me to always fight fight fight! I can not die until my room is filled with sexy Korean men.

[chochajin.livejournal.com]

Happy belated birthday! ^-^
24 seems to be an evil number - I had similar issues around that time.
Don't worry too much. Don't give up your plans, but do take care of your health first!!! :333

[kurikuribebi]

Maybe it's because it's the year before 25, which is middle age? I don't know. I hate 24 now.
Thank you!

[starling27.livejournal.com]

Oh god! So... What are you going to do? Ooo calcium might help strengthen whats left though :) i thought that bones can grow :s

[kurikuribebi]

They can! The way the doctor explained it to me though it's kind of like when you have arthritis that your joints get so bad they have to be replaced. Bone can grow back, but because I'm not getting the surgery immediately, my bones are being constantly bombarded and being worn away.

I'm definitely planning a high calcium diet!

[ltnoin.livejournal.com]

That is very scary. It sounds like you need something now, though - your treatment. Maybe everyone would be willing to kick in to your treatment fund in lieu of a birthday gift. I'd happily pay into that fund! :)

[kurikuribebi]

I'm going to work out a plan to see how I can manage to pay for the surgery on my own--even if it's in installments. If I can't manage that, then I think I will ask everyone to help out. I just feel a little bad asking them to help pay for my surgery, when just some time before, I purchased my ticket back to Japan.

[hibi-kiss.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday! Best of luck with your surgery and a full recovery! *hugs*

[kurikuribebi]

Thanks for your support =)

[warriorofdream.livejournal.com]

omg.... girl stay strong.. I knwo this surgery is super expensiv,e but maybe your friends fmaily can help you with money, like you said they didn't by you presents and anything..
it's important.. YOU HAVE TO DO IT SOON!! my friend have to be healthy!!!

sweety life always turns its back to use , in the ebst moments in our life, but as long as you aceppt it and start still to push your dreams and work, it will be better again ^^
don't let things like this ruin your life and do surgery.. you seriously made me worry >o<

how did you save money from work for this trip?? it seems super expensive with all stops !!
anyway it looks like fun so good luck!

ohh goal weigh.. do you really need to lose this alst 5 kg?? if yes and I cross my fingers but don't push yourself too hard to extrime methods ^^

[kurikuribebi]

I need to lose at least 5kg. Actually, when people look at me, they say my weight doesn't show at all! When I tell them how much I actually weigh, they always get surprised.

Actually, because I make several stops, my ticket became cheaper. My ticket back to Japan was originally $1,300, but when I added the other stops, it dropped to $1,140! I had had this money saved from the beginning because I only came here on vacation. I knew I needed ticket money to go home, so I kept it in a separate account =)

Yes, I need to do the surgery as soon as possible. I just need to save up for it! This information came out of the blue, so I didn't have extra money.

[warriorofdream.livejournal.com]

ah I understand, I have the same problem but in other direction, I always looks quite fine and when people got to know that I was 60 more 65kg they didn't belive me they though I'm under these numbers XD

oh I understand, so you create this track of fly or travel agency help you to do it.. you know that everything is in one price and you don't need to take like thousands of tickets XD
but still for my currency it's a bit expensive..

so maybe use money which you planned for other things?? I don't mean resigne of travel, bu maybe sth else.. I'm worried.. I want you to take it as quick as possible

[kurikuribebi]

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do now--cut out everything I don't need. No more driving! I will walk everywhere to get in shape and save gas money. No more eating out if I can avoid it. I will prepare meals at home....

I guess basically, if I become healthier, I can save money and get in more shape!

[esperity.livejournal.com]

Was it the shock? Sometimes, people don't freak out because they're so surprised something may be happening to them. The down time caused by recovering from surgery can get people antsy too, so hopefully it doesn't hinder you from doing what you want.

[kurikuribebi]

I definitely was shocked at the time. Now I've calmed down a bit and am working out a plan to follow in order to make sure things don't get worse until I can get the surgery. Even now I can't believe it, but I'm not going to stop myself from trying to get better.

[lelys24.livejournal.com]

Sorry, i am late but Happy birthday!!

[kurikuribebi]

Thank you!

[ofslimap.livejournal.com]

Hey This is hard for me because I have never done anything like this.. but I have a huge crush on you. I have never been able to tell you for reasons which you would quickly identify as obvious if you knew who this was. I'm really attracted to you and I think you would be wanting to get with *Read FULL Card Here* http://date.unudulmaz.com

[kissuholic.livejournal.com]

i am the master of belated Birthday wishes and belated comments. GURU! THE GURU! i shouldn't be so proud about this, but hey, as they say: better later, than never!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!

sucks to hear about your surgery :( but that's life. I know i am saying not the most encouraging words, but what else to do? Keep strong and know that you have your support here on lj too~! GAMBATTE~~~!!!!

[kurikuribebi]

Hahaha. The master? That's something to be proud of! Thanks! ^^
Being a master of something is ALWAYS good.


You're right. It's not the most encouraging but it's important to be realistic! No sense in living in a fantasy..