forever_wandering | FROM GOUKONS(合コン) & NOMIKAIS(飲み会) TO SADOU(茶道)

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FROM GOUKONS(合コン) & NOMIKAIS(飲み会) TO SADOU(茶道)

FROM GOUKONS(合コン) & NOMIKAIS(飲み会)

TO SADOU(茶道)

♥ Goukons= Group dates, Nomikais= Drinking parties, Sadou=Tea Ceremonies

When I first moved to Japan, my entertainment consisted mostly of Goukons, Nomikais, and Sadou. Drinking and dancing with the boys, that's where the fun was at. I had absolutely no interest whatsoever in the actual Japanese culture. My boyfriend at the time didn't mind, since his friend thought it was so cool he had a wild girlfriend. Every weekend consisted of goukons and nomikais with neighboring schools.

We broke up only two months after my arrival.

Some months after that, I began dating Take. He never asked me to stop partying, but it was obvious he didn't approve. I began to explore other things such as Karaoke, Bentou making, and Kendo. Surprisingly, the most interesting turned out to be Sadou.

I began by working on my Japanese and reading as many books as I could with Take's as well as my roommate's help. I began sitting in on the Sadou-club meetings to help myself get more used to being in such a calm setting. Eventually, I was able to visit real Tea Houses without a problem and began frequenting a tea house a friend of mine often went to in Chiba.

The ladies spoke to me as though I had a clear understanding of the Japanese language. It was a bit hard to follow at times, but they were really patient with me and helped me along. It did wonders for my Japanese! Spending time with these ladies helped spark my interest in Kimono as well as the Koto. Take's mom rewarded my giving up the clubbing life for something "more lady-like" by buying me a yukata, then later on buying me a new kimono for the new year. Getting involved with Sadou was one of the best things I could have done. Not only did it please my new boyfriend and his family, but it taught me a lot about Japanese culture and inspired further change within myself. I admired these classy ladies and wanted to be like them.

The following pictures are from my last time at the house.

(I realized from this picture that I had horrible posture! This was actually me sitting straight! Now, I've fixed my posture and no longer have back pain ^^)

Many of my old friends began distancing themselves as my interest in Sadou and things related grew. Many of them were still very much in to drinking and partying. However, the ladies were kind enough to introduce me to an entirely new group of people. I started growing up. It was around this time that Take asked me to transfer campuses to live with him in Osaka when he left.

I've decided to take Shaimsen lessons again at the local culture center, even if only to feel a little closer to a time in my life I felt challenged and a little more alive.I had attempted to play the Koto but it proved to be too much of a challenge and instead turned to the Shamisen. Having experience with a guitar, learning to play a Shamisen had been slightly easier. The woman I spoke to had been so surprised to hear me ask about Shamisen lessons that she offered to teach me for two months for a minimal one time fee!

Whenever I meet new people and tell them I'm in to Sadou, they give me this unusual look. I met a guy not too long ago who assumed I was interested in Anime and Manga. I confessed to him that though there were a few series I still enjoy from long ago, I really had no idea about half of the things he mentioned. "Then," he asked me, "What do you like?" I told him one of my main interests was Sadou and he seemed genuinely surprised, telling me my type was rare.

I don't think that we're rare...but I guess we're not as "easily seen?"
I dunno. I know a lot of people who are in to it. I just don't get why it's considered rare.

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That's so cool!

Bentou making and Kendo - what are these things?

Bentou are basically lunch boxes and Japan is notoriously famous for having amazingly artistic bentou.

Kendou is a type of fighting style involving wooden swords, of sorts.

Cool!

Yeah =)

I think it's really cool you've gotten into more traditional "hobbies". The only thing I ever did was 着付け, but that was lots of fun as well.
Even within the Japanese population, young people who have interest in the traditional Japan are rare, and with many many people coming to Japan in the first place because it's so kawaii and they can watch all their anime and say desu as often as they want (back in Berlin there were those people who would try to japanese-fy all their sentences...), it's even rarer to have a foreigner enjoying these things =)

It really is quite a shame that there are less and less people interested in the traditional hobbies and arts. I've always been more interested in more traditional aspects of cultures, but when I first moved to Japan, I wasn't at all interested because I was finally on my own and just wanted to have fun.

Yea, I know that type well. I run in to them constantly and they make me want to rip my ears out.
Maybe it's just me but I've always felt that there was a difference in appearance and air between those who were in Japan as "Otaku" and those who weren't. Something about the way they carry themselves just feels totally different. There is just something about those people that make them stand out to me. An old roommate of mine was one of these people. The way she spoke and moved, you just...knew. But I guess not many people feel that way, so they feel it's safer to assume that all foreigners are just in to that kind of stuff?

It's pretty rare, I'm sure, but I felt like it was becoming less rare with so many people flocking to Japan now. Or maybe because since I was doing it myself, I met a lot of people and just grew to feel it was normal?

着付け! That's something I could never do.
Even with my New Years kimono, as pretty as it was, I always groaned at the idea of having to get dressed.

Whats sadou?

Tea Ceremony =)

As soon as I saw that picture where you pointed out your posture, I fixed mine. That's something I really need to work on. I do enjoy some anime but not as much as people assume I do when they hear I want to live in Japan. I would love to get into bentou making!

I've always had horrible posture but I never noticed how bad it actually was until after that picture was taken. My boyfriend's mother helped me fix it fast though, by smacking me on the back every time I slouched. That woman was a real stickler, but she's made me who I am today, so I can't complain!

Bentou making is fun! I enjoy it now more than I used to. I couldn't get in to the class because at the time, I saw no point in it. I enjoyed learning ow to cook new things...But how to make them in to cute shapes? Not as much of a thrill.

I have horrible posture >.> totally need to fix that.

I think Sadou sounds interesting, if I ever go to Japan one day, I should get into it. :)

You should! Bad posture is horrible on your spine. Plus good posture makes you look thinner in pictures =D

You should definitely give Sadou a try!!!

Your so lucky! HOW ADVENTUROUS! :D

Thanks =D

When I studied in Japan, I took a tea ceremony class, and it was one of the hardest classes I took but also the most rewarding. I can understand why people might not appreciate it at first, but after some time, you come to see so many of the roots of Japanese culture in it. It really puts you in touch with Japanese people and culture on a different level, I think.

My university also offered a class but I never took advantage of it =( I got interested in Sadou once the semester had ended. I learned a bit here and there through simple participation and books. If I ever get the chance though...I definitely want to challenge a class!

What kinds of things did you do in the class?

I'm sure you would do well in a class with your background!! At our school we had an actual tea room, so myself and about 10 other students (Japanese and foreign) together learned every excruciatingly intricate detail of the tea ceremony there in that room, start to finish. From how to enter and exit the room, how to walk and sit, what to say and when, the proper order of the folds of our fukusa, how to mix the tea, how to present the tea, how to drink the tea ... there were no textbooks or desks, just straight up tea ceremony. haha It was so tough!

Mix, present and drink. That's all I learned how to do up until now =) Nothing quite as detailed as what you learned, though I've seen it all. I'm going to try it the next time I have a chance! =D

I really admire your courage! Not only in growing up and not being afraid to change your life, but for heading out in a foreign culture and trying something so completely different.

I suppose I can understand a bit about the "rare" comment, although I think ultimately you have the right answer - it's not that foreigners interested in traditional Japanese culture don't exist, but rather that I think we're marginalized, unseen, and sometimes (unfortunately) pushed out. When I first started living in Tokyo my major passion was Kabuki, I desperately wanted to go to every single performance I could even though my Japanese wasn't really up to par. I went to quite a few on my own early on before I ended up stopping for awhile because I felt really uncomfortable in the shibaigoyas since I was the only foreigner there. Add to that being female and alone and it was really uncomfortable. :/

Not everyone can go to a foreign country and challenge myself like I did, but I believe it's important for people to challenge themselves no matter where they are. Maybe not every day, but every so often. It's really the only way we can grow =)

Wow, I admire YOUR challenge. I challenged Sadou, but that's a female-filled environment. I don't know if I'd have the guts to take on Kabuki. Did you eventually start going back?

You know, it may be your age more than your ethnicity that surprises them? I don't think many young people are into sadou these days. I've never tried it either... looks interesting, but intimidating? ;)

It's definitely GREAT for your Japanese to hang out with people who aren't college students or young people who think they're "cool." Too many people in those crowds who either hope to improve their English by talking to you, or think they're being helpful by speaking English to you... but give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime! Much better to help someone learn the language of the place they're living than to help them in the short time by translating everything.

Maybe not? I don't know. Most universities have a Sadou club filled with both men and women interested in it and the tea houses I've been to were filled with Japanese, foreigners and tour groups...But maybe those clubs and groups are still a minority? Since I've interacted with so many people who are interested in it, it feels that there really are many, though that might not actually be the case at all.

I completely agree with you! I have many friends who choose to use English with me, despite the fact that it's broken and very difficult for me to understand. I tend to keep my friends balanced. I know some that speak English and some I don't.

According to some of my friends though, they've met a lot of foreigners who aren't particularly interested in learning Japanese because things aren't that difficult without it.

Hmmm... I don't know. Maybe it's the people you're hanging out with, or maybe it's the people I'M hanging out with, but I only know one person who does sadou and she's one of my English students, not even really a"friend" per se.

Most of my friends are moms who have no time for their own hobbies though, so maybe they ARE interested and just not able to do it right now?

That "things aren't so difficult without Japanese" thing...ARGH! *pulls hair* It drives me crazy when people just seem to EXPECT random Japanese people to speak English. Sure, at an international hotel or a tourist attraction, maybe not EVERY staff member is perfectly fluent but it's reasonable to expect that someone there will be able to help you. But I used to work with people who'd just go up to the JR station guy or someone working at McDonalds (and really, since when is being bilingual a requirement for flipping burgers?) and just babbling away without even asking "Do you speak English?" first... it really gives foreign residents a bad name, IMO.

Plus, those people often live in Japan for YEARS without ever really experiencing Japanese life. When I was an exchange student I tried REALLY HARD to avoid "international student clubs" and things like that, and even then, after a year I think I had made more stupid cultural faux pas than I care to think about. It just takes more exposure than that to really know a culture... one of the reasons I shy away from most novels about Japan. Someone who spends most of their time hanging out in English-friendly bars in Roppongi does not know ANYTHING about the Japan I know and love. (Not a novel, but the exception is Lost in Translation, because that's about short term visitors who don't pretend to know everything about Japan, and IS a pretty accurate representation of a first-time visit!)

It drives me insane as well. Whether it's easy to get by or not without it, it's common courtesty to at least try to learn some of the language. You are a guest in a coutry. The hosts will do their best to accomodate you, but no need to act like a twat! Sometimes I stumble across places that don't allow foreigners. I used to be offended, but not so much any more. Now, I understand their reasons and only feel upset that there are foreigners out there who ruin it for the rest of us.

Yes yes, I avoided those with a passion myself. I mean, if I wanted to stay in my comfort zone, I wouldn't have gone to Japan. I admit that I spent my first semester partying it up, but that partying did help give me a good start on my Japanese. I don't think I would have picked it up as quickly without it. I did eventually leave that behind and get in to the more traditional things though. I was surprised at how different "New Japan" and "Old Japan" really is! I think people who constantly "live" in the clubs assume they know Japan well because well, this is the Japan shown on TV. Every time I see a segment, there is a major focus on the night life.

I haven't read "Lost in Translation" yet, though it's been on my list for a while.

It's such a great feeling when your boyfriends mom likes you :DDDD When I was a kid I felt like my boyfriends mom's all hated me, lol. So now that one actually liked me enough to knit me a scarf I was so happy I did a victory dance. Hahah.

It is!! I had to work so hard and change so much to get her to approve of me. It was all worth it though. I hated her for it, but now I see it's for the best. She's like my bff now!

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There is definitely nothing wrong with it. I just hate it when people start talking to me about it like I'll automatically know because I (A) live in Japan (B) Am foreign. I don't mind if they ask if I'm interested but it's the assuming. It's a waste of time.

I don't practice Kendo. I lasted maybe 4 lessons before my body told me I'd die if I continued XD.

日本には、2チームがあります。彼らは、革新的な文化と保守的な文化です。そして、それは、古い価値と新しい価値を評価する国です。日本の心臓は、自然と1です。魂はすべての物質の中に存在します、そして、それはすべてのものを認められて生命を通過します。あなたが真実の日本の愛情を理解することができるならば、日本へのあなたの訪問は非常に貴重になります。 - Japan has two sides.
They are innovative culture and conservative culture.
And it is a country which values both old value and new value.
The Japanese hearts are nature and one.
A soul exists in all the things and it passes life in appreciation of all the things.
If you are able to understand the true Japanese heart, your visit to Japan will become very valuable.

Thank you very much for your comment =) I admire Japan's ability to balance both it's old and new culture. I've been to many countries, and have yet to see any place do it as successfully as Japan has. Though it's difficult, I hope to learn more about the finer aspects of traditional culture =)

I guess that you are growing up as it seems like now you realize the true things out of fake things. As you close to the pure center of our culture, you know, you see the true people in this country is look alike. Anyway, good to hear that you figure out whatsoever we call it an Essence of life! Have fun!!!

Thank you for your comment! Yes, I've definitely come to appreciate the finer details of the Japanese culture, which was something I never thought I'd do. I hope to learn more in the future ^^

I live in Canada and have been studying tea ceremony for a few years now. Half of my sensei's ~30 students are westerners like me.

I don't think we're that rare either, but TBH I find that people aren't that curious when I happen to mention sadou. (I'm guessing that's to do with the assumptions people often have, that it's supposedly stiffly formal or somesuch.) Usually what really sparks interest is if I mention learning to wear kimono!

But yeah, sadou is AWESOME. It's got so many dimensions: it's a microcosm of the Japanese traditional arts, a moving meditation, a study in how to give and receive graciously... I really think it's wonderful ♥

Thanks for your comment!
It's great that you've been able to stick to studying tea ceremony for so long! Hopefully, once I'm able to take actual classes, I'll be able to stick with it myself. So far, I've only been able to study it through observation and slight participation.

"...a study in how to give and receive graciously..."

Yes yes yes! There aren't many people who can appreciate how important this is. Many people hear "tea ceremony" and I'm pretty sure they imagine something a long the lines of little girls sitting around a table with little cups and stuffed animals. They don't realize how there are so many more things involves--important ideas that should basically be a part of normal life.

Cool)) I learnt sadou a little too (omotesenke) but too many things to learn x_x Still it's pretty nice.

Yeah, it's pretty complicated but very fun!

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FROM GOUKONS(合コン) & NOMIKAIS(飲み会) TO SADOU(茶道)

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true japanese hearts

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You are growing up!!

Re: You are growing up!!

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