forever_wandering: (Default)

Happy November!

I saw that a lot of my friends are jumping over to Dreamwidth because of LJ's new friends page change. I don't plan on jumping ship just yet, but I did go ahead and set up my DW accout. If you plan on completely moving to Dreamwidth, PLEASE let me know, so I can start cross-posting. While I was at it, I went ahead and re-did my Livejournal layout as well! 

My Dreamwidth Account: Please click image to open account!                          My New Livejournal Layout! 

Dreamwidth       Livejournal

I finally accepted that until I can get the funds together for that surgical procedure I need, I'm going to have to not only cut back on things I wanted, but also things I don't immediately need. I got the grocery shopping done today, and didn't buy a single bit of junk food! The bill went down close to $30.00. Imagine that!


On top of that, I'm considering trying a protein diet I keep seeing every time I log in to ミクシィ. I'm usually rather indifferent to these ads because they usually feature women that are already like 50kg who are trying to lose 5 more kg. Basically, skinny people trying to be more skinny, and these ads usually offer to do it in about two weeks.  

I'm not that foolish. 

However, this ad promotes a series of protein shakes AND explains the diet plan used to lose 10kg in a month, and after roaming the site quite a few times, it doesn't seem to unreasonable. Despite the fact that I exercise six days a week, my eating habits are rather sloppy, and this diet is meant to help you cut calories and help you get used to eating less without starving yourself. It also forces you to think about what you eat, since you are substituting the shake for certain meals, so you make sure the meal you eat is amazingly delicious.... which is the one thing that kills me about American advertisements that I see about weightloss. 

Those commericals always have women who say "I didn't even have to think about what I was eating. I just signed up, completed the survey and they'd send me the food every month..blah blah.." If you aren't aware of what you are eating, you might lose the weight, but you will not keep it off! 

I feel like a protein diet is more successful because not only is it a physical struggle, but an emotional struggle. You become aware of what you've been doing, what you haven't been doing. You learn to change.  

I only need to lose 5 more kg, so my dieting doesn't have to be as extreme as what these two did, but yeah, I'm definitely a bit curious. 

Have you ever tried a special diet program? What's your take on them? Have you ever fallen victim to a "fad diet" such as the bananna diet? 

And on a completely unrelated note, I'm sharing this here: 
Despite the reward, not a single person has come forward with information. Her car was found abandoned, but it didn't offer any clues as to where she might have gone or been taken to. Absolutely zero clues. The only way to actually get out of Sitka if you don't own your own boat is to take a plane or catch the ferry. No one has reported seeing her. It's as though she's vanished in to thin air. Sitka also heavily depends on tourism. There are a lot of "outsiders" going in and out. I post this here in the off chance that she was taken by someone who did have means of getting off the island. In that case she could be between any Alaskan Island, Canada or Washington. 

Sitka is such a small place where everyone knows everyone. Things like this just don't happen. Close to 3 weeks missing. 3 weeks of friends, family and police heading spending the day searching and searching...and not.a.single.clue. 

forever_wandering: (SHOCKED)
I changed my layout in celebration of the new season. It's not the best, but I quite like it. It's simple and cute.  A few of my friends have been asking me to post both in English and Japanese so that they don't have to struggle through the English. It's pretty time consuming, but I'm considering it.


I'm a sucker for "Limited Edition Items," so as soon as I saw 31 Ice Cream's commercial for a Men in Black Limited Edition flavor, I absolutely had to have it. I told myself that if I could maintain my work out plan for two months, I'd allow myself to have it, and since I completed that goal yesterday, I had my reward for breakfast today!

The huge chunks of cheesecake made it a lot sweeter than I had expected it to be, but it was still quite enjoyable.So enjoyable that I almost regret splitting it with two other people!

A friend tried to guilt me over indulging in this little reward. "When you're on a diet, you can't eat things like this!" she told me, to which I replied, "I'm not dieting."  She seemed confused, and told me she had thought I was trying to lose weight. I am, and I know that sacrifices must be made in order to lose weight.  However, I do not believe in cutting out all of my favorite foods and snacks.  I believe in moderation. From the day I decided I wanted to live a healthier life, I've lost 31 kilos. Not once have I felt deprived. Many of my friends constantly complain about their cravings and then often end up splurging when they go out.  

For me, it's all about creating a healthy and active lifestyle I can maintain for more than a couple of months. Some people can completely cut sweets from their diets. I am not one of those people. These days, I rarely have cravings for such sweet things, but when I have a craving I simply can't get out of my system, I satisfy it with a small amount of what I'm craving. 
I exercise five days a week (six when I finish my to-do list on time!) for almost two hours a day and dance for almost 45 minutes on top of that. I don't think a splurge every two months, for example, is going to kill me. It anything, it works as a motivator. 

I used to be a yo-yo dieter, so at this point in the game, I may not be well educated on the best ways to lose weight, but I know quite a bit about what doesn't, and I can say with full confidence that making yourself miserable does not help.

Getting in shape and living healthy is not just a physical change. It's also a mental and emotional change. If you feel cranky and stressed, you won't be able to make the best decisions when it comes to this new life you want. 

Every time I try to explain this to my friends, they roll their eyes and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.Well, as I said, I may not be an expert but....I'm not the one sitting there making complaints about how difficult and stressful dieting is, am I? No, I'm the one eating a slice of cake while I browse through a magazine for a new size 4 dress.  

I've never met a guy who puts themselves through the same torture girls put themselves through to lose

EDIT: Some hours after I posted this, I went on to discuss diets with a friend, which led to a discussion about food in Japan vs. Food in the US.  

Where did this idea that all food in Japan is automatically healthier than food in the US? Their argument was that in the US, they eat certain things and get fat, but in Japan, they can eat whatever and not get fat. This has more to do with the lifestyle than the actual food itself, I feel. For instance. In Japan, you buy a burger at MOS burger. The size is considerably smaller than that of an American burger, so you feel you won't gain weight. The truth is, you'll most likely walk a lot of it off because well, you do a lot of walking in Japan. That's life. 

In the US, you order a burger and it's almost the size of your head. You eat it then get in your car, drive home, and complain that you've gained weight because American food is icky and that this would never happen in Japan. Wrong. Cut the burger in half and walk home. 

In my mind, the only real difference is that people in Japan do all the work for you. You eat smaller portions because they give you smaller portions. That doesn't mean you can't be an adult and control your own portions in your own country. You burn things off quickly in Japan because you walk a lot. You can't walk in your own country? The thing can. 

The same rules apply for every country, in my book. So, whenever I hear girls make the argument or go with the assumption that just by being in Japan, they'll be able to eat whatever they want and still lose weight, I feel totally confused. 

It feels to me like the issue isn't the food itself but more an issue of an individual's discipline. 

forever_wandering: (AMUSED)
I got caught up in the oddest Livejournal spat today that turned in to an attack on my personal character, which had nothing to do with the topic at hand. Maybe I should have been offended or angry or whatever, but it honestly made me laugh. Whatever happened to the days where you could discuss an opinion without it becoming personal? 

Speaking of becoming personal, I spoke to R-san and T-san (R-san's best friend and my old Japanese teacher) today. R-san apologized to me and confessed that he only booked us a single room with a king-sized bed. I laughed and told him not to worry about it but inside I'm thinking...What? T-san advised be to keep a knife handy, so I promised I'd buy myself a gun to keep R-san at bay. Honestly, I don't think he'll try anything since we have a kind of sibling relationship...But...What?! 

Ugh. That depression I get when I realize I fail at life because I studied at an all girl's university and still have close to 0 female friends, is starting to hit me again.  I wonder if I needed to attend an all-boy's school in order to make friends of the female gender...Any time I complain to one of my guys about it, they laugh and tell me there are many girls right now who would die to be in the Japanese-reverse-harem I'm stuck in. I tell them to help me find these girls so that we could be friends.... But no luck yet! 

I tried on that dress again today to see if I still felt the same way about it. I still want to lose some more weight, but now I can at least appreciate the fact that I was able to finally get in to it. All I had to do was look at pictures from how I used to look and dress to shock me back! I don't think I'll be taking it to New York though, especially now that I know R-san and I will be a little closer than I expected, and will more than likely be drinking a bit.


Today, I grabbed some job applications. I made sure they were all only seasonal jobs, since I can really only work until  October, at the latest. I'm going to fill them out tomorrow and send them off. We'll see what happens after that. I really want to save up a bit more money before going back. M-san asked twice if I'd definitely be back in December, and then asked if I had ever been skiing or snowboarding in Nagano, so I'm assuming my winter plans will include another little trip. That requires money. 

Last but not least, I tried chest binding today for the first time ever in life at a lingerie shop . It was one of those spur-of-the-moment things I thought I should try before I said I didn't like it...And I don't like it. Son of Mary Christ, why would anybody ever want to do that to themselves?! I swear if it wasn't for the fact that it was hard to breath as it was, I would have cried. Not even wearing a kimono was that painful! 

Friday! Hurry up and get here! I want to go to New York!! 

forever_wandering: (AMUSED)
AP RIL 29 - MAY 3:: NEW YORK   

 I told R -san that there was a chance I wouldn't be able to go to NY with him because of how expensive it was becoming. He then said that I absolutely had to go, and that he'd pay for the hotel. I thought he was kidding at first, but I found out last night he really did book us a hotel in Brooklyn, so it looks like I'm definitely going. I can't wait! My only concern is what to tell M-san. My going to NY isn't a problem. My going to NY with another guy might be. There are no romantic feelings between R-san and I, but I know M-san well enough to know that he'll think something's going on. Ugh... I'll just buy him a nice omiyage or something to distract him. 

I took these pictures the other day (please ignore my sloppy appearance. I took these after a run. lol)  so that I'll have something to compare my future appearance to in the future. I'm not at the size I want to be yet, but I'm not entirely unhappy with the size I am now. On the contrary, I look at these pictures and I feel so proud that I'm even at this size, seeing as I started at 90kg. I'm doing good BUT WHY DO MY LEGS HAVE TO BE SO SHORT?! 

AnywayI was woken up at around 7:30 by a call from M-san, wanting to discuss Free Trade Agreements between countries. What a beautiful way to start the day eh?PhotobucketAfter the conversation, though, I felt amazingly awake and recharged and I did something I never thought I'd actually do: I called two medical institutes and arranged a meeting at each. If things go according to plan, I'll start studying Medical Administration. Now, I've never had an intense passion for this kind of thing, but I've always wondered whether or not I could cut it in something like this.  Thinking about it, accomplishing this would allow me to get a better job, which would allow me to save enough money to go back to school and finish a degree I never got a chance to finish. I don't want to get too excited over this since I haven't made a final decision, but calling and setting up those meetings made me feel like I was taking a step in the right direction.
forever_wandering: (WONDERING)
Woke up early, read a few pages of 神様のカルテ, then cleaned my room. While cleaning, I found a Victorias Secret card with a secret amount of money on it that expires at the end of this month. I love scented lotions, so picking one for me to use on a daily basis is not a problem. However, this time around, I'd like to buy one specifically to wear with M-san this winter when we celebrate our first Christmas as friends together. He always notices what scent I'm wearing around him and always compliments me for it. I want to keep it that way. 
The first I ever used with him was Victoria Secret's strawberry spray. Two sprays was enough to make him lean in and smell my hair the first time we ever met. The second is a Raspberry/Strawberry mix. He picked up on this one right away as well, and told me I smelled delicious. Obviously, the boy loves his berry scents, so my plan is to find some kind of berry mix that doesn't have such a summery feel. Has anyone ever tried anything in a WinterBerry scent? I found that Victoria's secret has a winter scent called Winterberry, but when I look for reviews, I can't find anything.  I'm open to any suggestions anyone may have. 


★ 3 MILE RUN. 
★ 25 PUSH UPS 

I figure that if I write down my work out plan for the week, I'll feel more obligated to follow it. I'm loving the difference I'm beginning to see in the mirror. My goal is to improve overall fitness. I want to be able to run those three miles non-stop at 6.5 miles an hour. I want to be able to use weights that weigh more that a combined weight of 20 pounds. There is a marathon in May that I want to try and participate in. I'll wait until the end of this month before I make a final decision on that though. 

Time to get fit, Ladies and Gents! 

forever_wandering: (AMUSED)


We had decided a few days before on meeting at Roppongi at 18:00. Even though he had been mad at me, and was probably even more annoyed with me for not calling him as I had been instructed, I assume our plans still stand. I shower, change, then head off to meet him. Upon reaching Ueno Station, I get a message from M-san,*: You didn't call me. I'll see you at 20:00 instead. What? 20:00?! What in hell was I supposed to do for two hours?! "That's fine. I'll wait for you," I reply, which sparks a small argument. He blames my not calling him for his being late and I apologize but argue that my call had nothing to do with our pre-arranged meeting. He tells me he's on his way and we end up meeting only half an hour behind schedule. 

We argue as we walk. He's genuinely annoyed that I hadn't called, and I'm genuinely annoyed that he was acting so...possessive. He was annoyed that I had been hanging out with another guy, drinking with another guy. I assure him that nothing had happened and that T-san* was no more than a friend. "That kind of behavior.." he begins to tell me, but then says nothing more. What behavior? My behavior? Sorry, but what had I done wrong? "I don't like it." He finishes off, rounding a corner. "So, where do we go from here?" I ask, wondering if we'd be parting ways or not. "Roppongi Hills. You know Mori tower?" He asks back, and of course, I know. I remind him that I'm afraid of heights, which seems to bring a smile to his face. Damn him. I smile back and the tension disappears. 

PhotobucketThe elevator doors opened and as we stepped out on to the deck, we were greeted by a beautiful night view of the area, Tokyo Tower glowing majestically. I'm both amazed and terrified at the same time.  He asks me if I want to take a picture. "Uhh...." I answer, holding on to the rail. Actually, I'm fine right here, clinging to this rail, I think to myself, but find myself walking with him in the direction of the designated photographer positioned on deck.  Once our picture is taken, we begin to walk around deck, trying to identify different landmarks.

"And that area over there is...." M-san* peers at a map, trying to figure out what he was looking at. "That's Shibuya," I finish, standing next to him. He asks me how I know. "I'm awesome," I answer.  

"Okay then. So." He points in another direction, "That"  I tell him that that area is also Shibuya. It's all Shibuya. Everything in Sight is Shibuya. "Trust me, I know these things." I assure him. We laugh and continue looking around.

He starts staring at another map and as he does so, I stare at him. He had me figured out, but he was still a mystery to me. I stare so intently that I fail to notice he's now looking at me instead of at the map. He snaps his fingers in my face, "Is that ok?" My blank stare tells him he needs to repeat his question. "I know you have to go to Kansai but I wanna see you one more time before you go home, ok?" 

I agree to meet him again and promise I'll call him from Kansai. He gives me a skeptical look. I laugh. "I will!" I assure him, "I swear I'll call you."

But did I? 


I am loving LJ's new "Scheduled entries" feature! It really is speeding up the posting process. I can type up all my entries ahead of time then just walk away.

In other news, Operation "Instead of losing weight, focus on living a healthier lifestyle" is going very well. I haven't stepped on the scale just yet to see if I've actually lost any weight, but I can see a difference when I look at pictures most importantly, I feel the difference.  Is anyone else working on losing weight? If so, how do you keep motivated? How do you measure your progress?  I only have 5 more kilos to lose in order to meet my final goal, but I've read that the last 5 are always the hardest.  I'm looking for creative ways to keep myself motivated! 9 months to lose 5 kilos for a bit day! MOTIVATE ME LJ

forever_wandering: (SHOCKED)
So, the day before yesterday, I'm helping Otouto look for an affordable ticket that would take him from Narita to Florida, then from Florida to New York for his conference, then Tokyo once again. After about half an hour, we manage to find him a ticket for about 130000.00 yen, and I'm feeling pretty awesome for finding what I consider to be a great deal. I used my bargain-hunting powers for good, so all day, I'll be rewarded for my good deed,  I think to myself as I change my clothes for lunch.
And it was a pretty good day. Until I reached the end of it. 

I'm on the phone listening to T-san explain the horrible sanitation at his English school. Suddenly, I get this shooting pain in my right leg. I try to ignore it and continue my conversation, but within a matter of seconds, the pain spreads and I am unable to move or bend my leg in any way without getting a rush of major pain.

I tell Ta-san I'll call him back, but I never do.

Instead, I dial my dad's number, hoping he'll have a solution. It might be a muscle cramp, or lack of potassium. "You don't eat a lot of potassium. Just keep still and it'll hopefully go away."
So I did just that. I spent the entire night laying there wide awake, trying to ignore the throbbing pain. 

You know how scary it is wanting to be able to move a limb on your body and not being able to? It's scary. 

At some point, I fell asleep. When I woke up the next day, my leg still hurt like crazy, but I was at least able to move my ankle and toes sometime after noon. 

As soon as I was able to, I dragged myself out of bed, swallowed half a bottle of pain-killers, then jumped back in to bed. The pain in my right leg faded, then suddenly began on my left calf. Even now it still hurts but I can at least walk.  

I'm still a bit loopy

It seems like I can't slowly get sick. Like, I can't get the sniffles, then get a cold. No. When I'm gonna get sick, I do it with a BAM! Like when I used to simply faint and doctors couldn't figure out why? Or those out of the blue nose bleeds? Yea. My body likes to work at random.

How annoying. 
forever_wandering: (Default)
I decided that this year I seriously wanted to lose weight and become more healthy.  
So, I threw out all the sweets and junk food we had in the house. 

My parents love sweets, so they were a bit irritated, but I just reminded them that they too had promised to lose weight and become healthier throughout the year. Reluctantly, they allowed me to throw out the remaining temptation. 

My goal this year is to lose 5kg. Losing 5 more kg would put me back the same weight I was in junior high. 

Last year, I dropped 10kg, but expecting to lose the same amount this year would just be impossible. 
Also, I'm pretty sure that if I dropped another 10kg...I would die.

Every day is becoming busier and busier...but with a treadmill in the house, I have no excuse not to exercise every day. 

Doll girl workout gym threadmill animated gif Pictures, Images and Photos

My ipod finally died so I have to re-download new music and put it on my iPhone for my run! 
Any recommendations are welcome. 
I'm always up for new music!! 





"An ugly duckling growing out of her feathers."

Hello. I'm Zia, and this is most obviously my journal. I write about my life between Japan and the US, and all the adventures I find myself in. People often say they are envious of the life I seem to live, but the truth is, I feel a little unsatisfied with it myself, so I've decided to do something about it--to find what really makes me happy. Hopefully by documenting my life, I can figure out where I need to be heading. This journal is my way of opening my world to those around me in hopes of meeting people searching for the same thing or encountering people who have already gone through this kind of struggle. 

Back in my high school days, I used to be a bit of a nerd. I was really in to comic books of all kinds, action figures...all that jazz.  These days, though my interest in comic books re-surfaces every so often, I'm very much more in to things like fashion, dance, music, travel, tea, baking, writing letters, photography, animals and fitness. I'm a straight shooter--meaning I do not (or rather, can not?) lie. Keeping up with lies is too much trouble. 

Anyway, there is more information about me on my profile. Feel free to take a look there or catch me on another site★


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