Jul. 6th, 2012 12:11 pm
forever_wandering: (Default)
Independence Day was pretty fun. We had free tickets, so we decided to go to Busch Gardens to see their fireworks display. In the end they were canceled due to horrible weather, but I got to spend time with my family (minus my sister, who is still living in Hawaii). My brother left for Alaska yesterday morning and won't be coming back to Florida until December. Depending on when he comes, I might already be back in Japan, so who knows when we'll get the chance to take another 4-family member photo. 


Since my brother is gone now, I can go back to following a routine. Most people don't believe me when I say this but I actually have really low self-esteem. There isn't a single thing I would change in the way I've lived my life. I have no regrets when it comes to that. But there are many things I want to change in myself and I always try to do so much at once that I burn out.  

So this is it. This is a clean slate. I'm focusing on two and only two goals for the next year (Today - July 5, 2013).

Me At Busch Gardens 1. LOSE 10KG & PRACTICE


The trouble with being short is that it shows. Short people just can't hide their weight. Tall people are so lucky! I was advised against losing more than 5kg by my doctor but I want to try to lose 10kg in a healthy fashion.

The last time I was only around 2kg away from meeting my goal, everyone told me I looked like a corpse. Obviously, I don't want to look like that. I want to lose weight but maintain a feminine body.

In order to achieve my goal, I need an effective work out regimen. I want to work harder, not longer, so I plan on creating a plan around my strengths and weaknesses.

On top of that, I want to improve my natural appearance. I depend a lot on things like  make up, hair irons, heels and cute outfits to make me feel pretty. I want to have that same confidence when I'm not wearing make up or dressing up in nice clothes. 



I study Japanese a lot. However, I do it by watching dramas, listening to music and talking to friends. My Japanese is incredibly casual, but I get by just fine on my own in Japan. However, I've always felt inferior to those who have had the opportunity to take and learn through formal classes. I always say that I'm going to take the JLPT just to see where I am compared to other students, but I always chicken out. I'm not going to do that any more.

Next year, I will definitely take the JLPT. Until then, I will study as much as possible. If I can, I'll update my Japanese blog daily. I'm also thinking it would be a good idea to find a study partner who is also learning Japanese, so that we can study together via voice chat or cam. 

Lets see if I can maintain these goals =) 
I chose to write about this today because it's Tanabata! While I was cleaning out my parent's book shelf, I came across a wish I had sent them my first year abroad, which was more than two years ago. My wish was to have more confidence in myself.  This year will be four years since that day and I still have the same wish. 


   Ladies and gentlemen, please inspire me with your wishes and dreams!    
forever_wandering: (AMUSED)
AP RIL 29 - MAY 3:: NEW YORK   

 I told R -san that there was a chance I wouldn't be able to go to NY with him because of how expensive it was becoming. He then said that I absolutely had to go, and that he'd pay for the hotel. I thought he was kidding at first, but I found out last night he really did book us a hotel in Brooklyn, so it looks like I'm definitely going. I can't wait! My only concern is what to tell M-san. My going to NY isn't a problem. My going to NY with another guy might be. There are no romantic feelings between R-san and I, but I know M-san well enough to know that he'll think something's going on. Ugh... I'll just buy him a nice omiyage or something to distract him. 

I took these pictures the other day (please ignore my sloppy appearance. I took these after a run. lol)  so that I'll have something to compare my future appearance to in the future. I'm not at the size I want to be yet, but I'm not entirely unhappy with the size I am now. On the contrary, I look at these pictures and I feel so proud that I'm even at this size, seeing as I started at 90kg. I'm doing good BUT WHY DO MY LEGS HAVE TO BE SO SHORT?! 

AnywayI was woken up at around 7:30 by a call from M-san, wanting to discuss Free Trade Agreements between countries. What a beautiful way to start the day eh?PhotobucketAfter the conversation, though, I felt amazingly awake and recharged and I did something I never thought I'd actually do: I called two medical institutes and arranged a meeting at each. If things go according to plan, I'll start studying Medical Administration. Now, I've never had an intense passion for this kind of thing, but I've always wondered whether or not I could cut it in something like this.  Thinking about it, accomplishing this would allow me to get a better job, which would allow me to save enough money to go back to school and finish a degree I never got a chance to finish. I don't want to get too excited over this since I haven't made a final decision, but calling and setting up those meetings made me feel like I was taking a step in the right direction.
forever_wandering: (AMUSED)


We had decided a few days before on meeting at Roppongi at 18:00. Even though he had been mad at me, and was probably even more annoyed with me for not calling him as I had been instructed, I assume our plans still stand. I shower, change, then head off to meet him. Upon reaching Ueno Station, I get a message from M-san,*: You didn't call me. I'll see you at 20:00 instead. What? 20:00?! What in hell was I supposed to do for two hours?! "That's fine. I'll wait for you," I reply, which sparks a small argument. He blames my not calling him for his being late and I apologize but argue that my call had nothing to do with our pre-arranged meeting. He tells me he's on his way and we end up meeting only half an hour behind schedule. 

We argue as we walk. He's genuinely annoyed that I hadn't called, and I'm genuinely annoyed that he was acting so...possessive. He was annoyed that I had been hanging out with another guy, drinking with another guy. I assure him that nothing had happened and that T-san* was no more than a friend. "That kind of behavior.." he begins to tell me, but then says nothing more. What behavior? My behavior? Sorry, but what had I done wrong? "I don't like it." He finishes off, rounding a corner. "So, where do we go from here?" I ask, wondering if we'd be parting ways or not. "Roppongi Hills. You know Mori tower?" He asks back, and of course, I know. I remind him that I'm afraid of heights, which seems to bring a smile to his face. Damn him. I smile back and the tension disappears. 

PhotobucketThe elevator doors opened and as we stepped out on to the deck, we were greeted by a beautiful night view of the area, Tokyo Tower glowing majestically. I'm both amazed and terrified at the same time.  He asks me if I want to take a picture. "Uhh...." I answer, holding on to the rail. Actually, I'm fine right here, clinging to this rail, I think to myself, but find myself walking with him in the direction of the designated photographer positioned on deck.  Once our picture is taken, we begin to walk around deck, trying to identify different landmarks.

"And that area over there is...." M-san* peers at a map, trying to figure out what he was looking at. "That's Shibuya," I finish, standing next to him. He asks me how I know. "I'm awesome," I answer.  

"Okay then. So." He points in another direction, "That is....hm."  I tell him that that area is also Shibuya. It's all Shibuya. Everything in Sight is Shibuya. "Trust me, I know these things." I assure him. We laugh and continue looking around.

He starts staring at another map and as he does so, I stare at him. He had me figured out, but he was still a mystery to me. I stare so intently that I fail to notice he's now looking at me instead of at the map. He snaps his fingers in my face, "Is that ok?" My blank stare tells him he needs to repeat his question. "I know you have to go to Kansai but I wanna see you one more time before you go home, ok?" 

I agree to meet him again and promise I'll call him from Kansai. He gives me a skeptical look. I laugh. "I will!" I assure him, "I swear I'll call you."

But did I? 


I am loving LJ's new "Scheduled entries" feature! It really is speeding up the posting process. I can type up all my entries ahead of time then just walk away.

In other news, Operation "Instead of losing weight, focus on living a healthier lifestyle" is going very well. I haven't stepped on the scale just yet to see if I've actually lost any weight, but I can see a difference when I look at pictures most importantly, I feel the difference.  Is anyone else working on losing weight? If so, how do you keep motivated? How do you measure your progress?  I only have 5 more kilos to lose in order to meet my final goal, but I've read that the last 5 are always the hardest.  I'm looking for creative ways to keep myself motivated! 9 months to lose 5 kilos for a bit day! MOTIVATE ME LJ

forever_wandering: (POSITIVE OUTLOOK)
I'm not sure how I did it, but I managed to get two weeks worth of work done in one week, which means that next week, I can be as lazy as I want. I'll most likely spend it in bed with a bowl of strawberries, trying to start reading 神様のカルテ. There are several books, but I'm only focused on the first one. 


The DVD for 神様のカルテ came out last month, but I really don't want to watch it until I finish the novel.  My goal is to complete this novel by the end of this year. The book is only 252 pages, but because it's loaded with kanji and vocabulary I'm not familiar with, I'm giving myself that amount of time. To give myself less time would be setting myself up for failure. 

I met up with some friends from high school today and it was pretty fun! We mostly sat in a cafe had had bubble tea, but we still laughed a lot more than expected. They kept insisting that I had changed so so much and that they were amazed at the person I had become. I know I've changed mentally and I knew I had changed to a degree physically, but it wasn't until I compared two pictures side by side that I realized I really have changed!  On the left is the person they remember, on the right is the person I've become. Now that I am more serious about getting in shape, I wonder what I will look like in another two years. 


 In two weeks, I'll be meeting with a few more classmates. I can't wait.  
forever_wandering: (Default)
Already, we're hitting the second week of February. Wow.  
I was pretty lazy all this week, even though I had tons of things to do, so this week is going to be insanely busy. I'll need to somehow manage to get all of this weeks AND last weeks things done....  I WILL NEVER BE LAZY AGAIN

My best friend from forever ago will be here in three weeks. As soon as I get everything that needs to get done, done, I'll need to start working on some kind of plan. I have no idea where to take her for some good sight-seeing. I've never been a tour-guide...and I've always kept away from major tourist spots...  

On that same note,
I spoke to Kazu today, and it seems like I'm in charge of planning the events of our next trip as well. I had simply planned on driving around until we found something we wanted to check out but....I don't think that's gonna fly. It's going to be tough. I'm easy to entertain. Kazu's easy to entertain...but I don't know his friend Shouji too well....so I'm not sure where he would like to go... 


I went to the volunteer center and got some materials to study for the JLPT exam, even though I don't really know if I'll actually take it yet. I keep saying I will, since everyone keeps bugging me to, then we end up forgetting about it to go traveling or something... 
Anyway! I got a 77 on the first half that I completed...and I can live with that because the book is for the 2級. 77 on the first half of the 2級 isn't bad for me, since up until now I didn't even have confidence I could pass the 4級.

I really want to try and take some kind of formal Japanese class.... but I'm not sure if I have the time. I should just force all my guys to put on suits and play teacher for me =D ...but then I'd learn all this weird Japanese like I've been doing, instead of pretty, formal Japanese.

forever_wandering: (Default)

With less than a week remaining until the New Year, I woke up early today and got started on cleaning out my room. I worked on it from morning to noon before finally deciding to take a break. It wasn't so much that there was a lot of trash, but there were a lot of things that needed to be dusted, wiped down and re-organized. 

The part I'm dreading the most is the closet. My closet is already pretty organized, since I like to take care of my clothes and shoes, but there are so many things that I don't need or can't use any more. Compared to last year (Or even a few months ago!) I've lost quite a bit of weight, so there are a lot of things that just don't fit me properly. However, I can't bring myself to throw them out. I've become quite attached to them...

My goal is to start the year off completely fresh and be as organized as I possibly can. By getting rid of all the necessary clutter, I can focus on the important things--though I'm not entirely sure what those things are just yet. I want to keep as little in my room as possible. The simpler my room is, the less distractions I have, the more I can focus on whatever goals I established for myself.  Like....focusing on studies, improving my Japanese, losing more weight, learning Korean, developing my fashion sense and finish reading all these books I have piled up...

In the US, this major clean up is called "Spring Cleaning," and as the name suggests, it starts in the Spring since this season represents freshness and growth, but what's the point of starting anew in the middle of the year? Why not start at the beginning? In celebration of the new year, we dress up in our best clothes. What's the point of looking your best if your environment doesn't feel like it's the best? 





"An ugly duckling growing out of her feathers."

Hello. I'm Zia, and this is most obviously my journal. I write about my life between Japan and the US, and all the adventures I find myself in. People often say they are envious of the life I seem to live, but the truth is, I feel a little unsatisfied with it myself, so I've decided to do something about it--to find what really makes me happy. Hopefully by documenting my life, I can figure out where I need to be heading. This journal is my way of opening my world to those around me in hopes of meeting people searching for the same thing or encountering people who have already gone through this kind of struggle. 

Back in my high school days, I used to be a bit of a nerd. I was really in to comic books of all kinds, action figures...all that jazz.  These days, though my interest in comic books re-surfaces every so often, I'm very much more in to things like fashion, dance, music, travel, tea, baking, writing letters, photography, animals and fitness. I'm a straight shooter--meaning I do not (or rather, can not?) lie. Keeping up with lies is too much trouble. 

Anyway, there is more information about me on my profile. Feel free to take a look there or catch me on another site★


poupeegirl fashion brand community

Free Counters

free counters

January 2013

  1 2345


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 20th, 2017 04:18 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios