forever_wandering: (Love)
[personal profile] forever_wandering
December. Four weeks. Four different guys. My life in Osaka is pretty ordinary. I have fun with my friends, but nothing amazing ever takes place. Yet every time I set foot in Tokyo, I find myself involved in a series of love triangles or being completely swept off my feet by a random stranger. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't already completely absorbed in someone, however that someone doesn't seem to be at a point in his life where he wants to commit 100% to a relationship. He wants all the benefits and rights, but not the titles or the exclusiveness. For a while I was okay with it. I was okay just being with him. But now I'm not. The clock is ticking and though I'm not desperate to find a new love, I realize that I simply can't just sit by and wait for Mugen* to come around any more. 

So here we are, four guys, all very different in their own rights, in four weeks. But one is already standing out above the rest and I'm looking extremely forward to our date. Not only is he handsome and tall (180cm, wow!), but he's settled in his own place and has a steady job. He's already decided who he is, what he enjoys and what he wants. He knows how to have fun, yet he's somehow very calming. On top of that, he does exactly what Mugen* seems to have difficulty doing--he supports my goals and dreams. I'm not as infatuated with him as I was with Mugen* but I can easily see myself learning to love him. 

I left the details of our date to him and it seems like he'll be treating me to dinner and illumination watching in Shinjuku. I'm still trying to convince him to take me dancing in the end! 

(Pictures from two years ago) 

The last time I was here was with one of my best friends, Michaela. We sat for a long while watching all the couples since neither of us could be with our significant others. This time I'll have my chance to join those happy couples! Mugen* has some serious competition. I wonder if he even knows. With it nearing the end of the year, he's extremely busy at work. He's asked me three times now when I'm free, and though I've told him each time, he's yet to pick the days we'll meet. The boy better hurry himeself up. 

Date: 2012-12-03 04:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
This new guy sounds pretty great, he ticks a lot of boxes that are important in a boyfriend! And you're right -- you could spend your whole life waiting for Mugen to up his game but he might never do it. I also think it's really important to have someone who supports your goals, or who, at the very least, doesn't put you down for having those goals. Beautiful pictures, have a wonderful time on your date!

Date: 2012-12-04 12:55 pm (UTC)
kurikuribebi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kurikuribebi
Thank you!
I'm really happy that this new guy supports me so much! It's made me feel a lot more motivated about going after my goals. Things are about to get really interesting from now =D

Date: 2012-12-03 10:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am so proud of you right now. I don't really know how else to describe it. I'm just so happy that you're not letting Mugen and his needs come entirely before your own. All relationships, "official" or not, are about give and take. You deserve to have your needs met as much as he deserves his.

This new guys does sound lovely! I really hope things work out well for the pair of you. I also think that the way you talk about him is very mature - it can be so easy to dismiss people just because you don't feel that instant connection or lust that the media is trying to teach you is crucial in a relationship.

Best of luck with him! c:

Date: 2012-12-04 12:59 pm (UTC)
kurikuribebi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kurikuribebi
It's taken me so long to realize that I can't keep waiting for Mugen. This new guy really put it in to perspective for me and I think that pretty soon, I'm going to tell Mugen about this guy. I don't want to be one of those girls running around being secretive. I want to openly tell him "I still care for you a lot but I'm missing something and this guy has it. What's your next move?"

Date: 2012-12-03 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
i approve of this guy, i love guys that are young, but already know what exactly do they want. Makes me respect them!
ah~ 180cm. after i was working with a boy who was 209cm tall, everything else seems so small now. Thou he seriously was a giant! and i am not that small either :/

but hej, i see you are some hot chick ;D four boys in four weeks! i am impressed! Hope everything works out with this guy, reading your description of him he must be quite an amazing person! have fun on your date~~~! がんばって~~~~!

Date: 2012-12-04 01:01 pm (UTC)
kurikuribebi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kurikuribebi
209cm?!?! Wooow! I would love that. Somehow, I can't imagine it though. Everything sure must have been small to him.

You are small too though, whether you're with him or not. We've all seen the pictures. You can't deny it!! =D =D

Hahaha. I'm not hot! Actually, I'm really average. I guess I just have a great personality =)

Date: 2012-12-04 02:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That guy you described sounds quite ok! :)
And 180cm is tall indeed! ^___^
Go, get him! *gg*

Date: 2012-12-04 01:12 pm (UTC)
kurikuribebi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kurikuribebi
Yeah! I'm happy because I can wear my heels with him and not have a problem. Actually he was the first one to mention me wearing heels and I felt like I died and went to heaven, lol.

I'm too simple minded.

Date: 2012-12-04 10:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's difficult, isn't it? I hate being in a situation with someone where I am trying to be fully committed but they aren't ready for that. Maybe you should sit down and just tell him straight up how you feel.

I hope you enjoy your dates!

I can't believe what luck you have lol. I have never been asked out by a Japanese man and I have lived in Japan for almost 5 years (>_<) I guess I don't give off the right vibe. But I'm happy with my non-Japanese boyfriend so in the end it doesn't matter.

Date: 2012-12-04 01:15 pm (UTC)
kurikuribebi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kurikuribebi
This exciting love life exists only in Tokyo lol. I'm sure it's because I've met so many people during my school days. I was constantly going out on my own or to clubs. Also, through school activities, I met quite a few! Then I meet friends of friends....

Anyway, my friends tell me that I do seem easily approachable because I don't walk around surrounded by other gaijin, like a lot of other gaijin girls they see and because I have this kind can I say...clueless vibe?

It's good that you're happy with him =)
What ethnicity a person is shouldn't matter. I always date Asian guys but that's mostly because other guys don't give me the time of day.

Date: 2012-12-05 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I find it difficult to maintain friendships with Japanese people (;-;)
At work it's no problem at all to be friendly with co-workers and get along well. But since I work at public schools, all my co-workers are insanely busy teachers who are married and have children. So I have no contact with them outside of work. And then I guess because I don't enjoy bars I tend to not have luck meeting people outside of work. Maybe that's why I never meet Japanese guys? I had some crushes on Japanese co-workers and guys from church in the past but in the end it never went farther than that. It's true that almost all my friends here are foreign outside of work.

Honestly I only ever dated white guys from America til I met my current boyfriend. He's Canadian and he's half black and half Indian. So I guess he's completely different from everyone I dated before in that respect. But although we are ethnically and culturally different, we get along well.

Date: 2012-12-06 03:07 am (UTC)
kurikuribebi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kurikuribebi
I've heard a lot of people say that they find it hard to maintain friendships with Japanese people! At first it was a little hard for me with everyone always being so busy and you having to schedule ahead of time, but now I'm the same way, so I don't mind it.

A problem some friends told me they had was that people don't make a huge effort to get close to them because theres the whole "They are Gaijin, so they'll be gone in about a year" idea. Apparently most Japanese assume all gaijin are English teachers on short term contracts.

I have close to no gaijin friends in Japan. A lot of the ones I do meet seem too overly friendly and I hate that.

Canadian, half black and half indian. That is definitely an interesting mix, no matter how I think about it!

Date: 2012-12-09 12:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah, it's difficult for me to pencil people in like that. I tend to be more spontaneous. I want to decide what to do on that very day or maybe a few days in advance. It's just impossible for me to think about what I will be doing in a month.

Hmmmm well I guess that is probably true. Personally I am an English teacher and I can only get 1 year contracts. So I guess I can see that. But seriously, it is renewable, and overall I've been here almost 5 years. Not everyone here is just going to leave next month or something.

Overly friendly? Do you mean, fake? I don't know, about all of my foreign friends are male, and I have next to zero Japanese friends (outside of work) other than friends of friends. So when I hang out with the guys it's always talking about videogames and going out for burgers and yakiniku and steak lol. Sometimes we do language exchange stuff with Japanese friends.

Yeah, and his parents were from Guyana, in South America. It's a Caribbean country where English is spoken. But everyone I tell in Japan thinks I'm talking about Guiana which is another country near it lol.

Date: 2012-12-09 01:39 pm (UTC)
kurikuribebi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kurikuribebi
No no. Not fake. I mean like they tend to invade my personal space a lot sooner than I'd like them to.It could be that I'm just too used to hanging out with my Japanese friends but I don't like guys I've just met putting their arm around me or hugging me and things like that.

I had to look up both places. I've never heard of either! lol.

Date: 2012-12-04 11:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
He sounds like a winner and Im sure it will be a great date, particularly the illumination watching (what is that by the way??) and the dinner aspect.

Date: 2012-12-04 01:16 pm (UTC)
kurikuribebi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kurikuribebi
Thanks! I'm looking forward to it.

Illumination watching is just going to see all the Christmas lights that have been put up around the city. I couldn't think of what to call it.

Date: 2012-12-04 12:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
waaa gaina in Japan... lucky you...
and isn't too much guy for one month????? XDDDDD
treat them nice XD
and good luck with everything <3
this one guy sounds quite good, know who he are, has job.. just wow <33

Date: 2012-12-04 01:18 pm (UTC)
kurikuribebi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kurikuribebi
I think for a serious relationship, yeah it's too many guys for one month. But I am still trying meet nice people, so I think it's okay. It's just a small date. Nothing too fancy...

Except for the guy I mentioned in this post =)
We'll spend two days together!

Date: 2012-12-04 01:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I see... then that's good you give yourself a try to meet new people ;3

that's good, I hope it may turn to be special for you!!

Date: 2012-12-05 01:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Go, girl! :)




"An ugly duckling growing out of her feathers."

Hello. I'm Zia, and this is most obviously my journal. I write about my life between Japan and the US, and all the adventures I find myself in. People often say they are envious of the life I seem to live, but the truth is, I feel a little unsatisfied with it myself, so I've decided to do something about it--to find what really makes me happy. Hopefully by documenting my life, I can figure out where I need to be heading. This journal is my way of opening my world to those around me in hopes of meeting people searching for the same thing or encountering people who have already gone through this kind of struggle. 

Back in my high school days, I used to be a bit of a nerd. I was really in to comic books of all kinds, action figures...all that jazz.  These days, though my interest in comic books re-surfaces every so often, I'm very much more in to things like fashion, dance, music, travel, tea, baking, writing letters, photography, animals and fitness. I'm a straight shooter--meaning I do not (or rather, can not?) lie. Keeping up with lies is too much trouble. 

Anyway, there is more information about me on my profile. Feel free to take a look there or catch me on another site★


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