Since my brother is gone now, I can go back to following a routine. Most people don't believe me when I say this but I actually have really low self-esteem. There isn't a single thing I would change in the way I've lived my life. I have no regrets when it comes to that. But there are many things I want to change in myself and I always try to do so much at once that I burn out.
So this is it. This is a clean slate. I'm focusing on two and only two goals for the next year (Today - July 5, 2013).
1. LOSE 10KG & PRACTICE
The trouble with being short is that it shows. Short people just can't hide their weight. Tall people are so lucky! I was advised against losing more than 5kg by my doctor but I want to try to lose 10kg in a healthy fashion.
The last time I was only around 2kg away from meeting my goal, everyone told me I looked like a corpse. Obviously, I don't want to look like that. I want to lose weight but maintain a feminine body.
In order to achieve my goal, I need an effective work out regimen. I want to work harder, not longer, so I plan on creating a plan around my strengths and weaknesses.
On top of that, I want to improve my natural appearance. I depend a lot on things like make up, hair irons, heels and cute outfits to make me feel pretty. I want to have that same confidence when I'm not wearing make up or dressing up in nice clothes.
2. STUDY SERIOUSLY AND
TAKE A JLPT.
I study Japanese a lot. However, I do it by watching dramas, listening to music and talking to friends. My Japanese is incredibly casual, but I get by just fine on my own in Japan. However, I've always felt inferior to those who have had the opportunity to take and learn through formal classes. I always say that I'm going to take the JLPT just to see where I am compared to other students, but I always chicken out. I'm not going to do that any more.
Next year, I will definitely take the JLPT. Until then, I will study as much as possible. If I can, I'll update my Japanese blog daily. I'm also thinking it would be a good idea to find a study partner who is also learning Japanese, so that we can study together via voice chat or cam.
Lets see if I can maintain these goals =)
I chose to write about this today because it's Tanabata! While I was cleaning out my parent's book shelf, I came across a wish I had sent them my first year abroad, which was more than two years ago. My wish was to have more confidence in myself. This year will be four years since that day and I still have the same wish.
Ladies and gentlemen, please inspire me with your wishes and dreams!