Apr. 27th, 2012

forever_wandering: (HAPPY&EXCITED)
PhotobucketI've been debating with myself on whether or not to sit down and discuss things with M-san and finally, I've decided that it really just isn't the time. Things are busy for him since he's just started working and he's more than likely going to meet a ton of new people. Also, I still find myself comparing him to Take at times, and that really isn't fair to him at all. 

My feelings are all out of whack this time and I find myself being so hypocritical. For instance, I'll get annoyed if I check facebook and see he's been chatting with a girl. However, I expect him to have no problem what-so-ever with me taking pictures with a million different guys and going to places with them. I don't know where these kinds of feelings came from. They' definitely didn't exist with Take. He could post what he wanted with who he wanted, whenever he wanted, on Mixi and I had no issues at all....

Maybe it's because Take was already mine? I don't know. Bottom line, I've decided to kick M-san to the back seat for a little while before these feelings get out of control and/or he brings things up first. 
I really don't want us to have an awkward time together during our Winter vacation. Or...if it is awkward, I want it to be his fault and not mine!! Ha! 
EDIT: Wow. Just. Wow. About an hour after I wrote this, I got a call from M-san. We spoke about my trip to NY, in which he told me he didn't care at all if I shared a room with a guy. Then he went on to say that if he got a 950 on his next TOEIC, I needed to reward him with a vacation. Hm. I see. The reward, apparently would be to stay with me for some time. >.> 

Tomorrow, I'm off to New York to meet up with R-san!
And the first thing we're going to do is eat clam chowder and pretzels. 
We're both extremely amused by the fact that even though he's going by plane and I'm going by bus, it will take us both 10 hours to get there, and that we'll be arriving at the same estimated time of arrival, without us having coordinated it. It's fate, he says, fate! 
Anyway, the bus will obviously be making stops in several other states, which I am EXTREMELY EXCITED about. It's been a goal of mine to step foot in as many states as possible before I go home. I knocked out quite a few on the road trip with my parents, and this bus trip will give me the chance to take out a few more.

What else. Ah, yes. 
It's been great getting some one-on-one time with a lot of my boys. We've been friends for a while, but we've all always hung out in small groups. I can't believe how much I've learned. I remember writing here that all my guys were pretty much the same. Thinking about that now, I couldn't have been any farther from the truth. Maybe when together, they all act alike but apart...Each of them are amazingly different. I look forward to the rest of my "one-on-ones."

By the way. Looking at my calender, I find it interesting that one boy has plans to come every month until I go back. Hmm.................................

I ate like crazy today. I better do a lot of walking in NY!! 
Since I'm taking my phone, I'll be able to try and keep up with everyone's journals while I'm gone! If I don't manage to though, sorry!





"An ugly duckling growing out of her feathers."

Hello. I'm Zia, and this is most obviously my journal. I write about my life between Japan and the US, and all the adventures I find myself in. People often say they are envious of the life I seem to live, but the truth is, I feel a little unsatisfied with it myself, so I've decided to do something about it--to find what really makes me happy. Hopefully by documenting my life, I can figure out where I need to be heading. This journal is my way of opening my world to those around me in hopes of meeting people searching for the same thing or encountering people who have already gone through this kind of struggle. 

Back in my high school days, I used to be a bit of a nerd. I was really in to comic books of all kinds, action figures...all that jazz.  These days, though my interest in comic books re-surfaces every so often, I'm very much more in to things like fashion, dance, music, travel, tea, baking, writing letters, photography, animals and fitness. I'm a straight shooter--meaning I do not (or rather, can not?) lie. Keeping up with lies is too much trouble. 

Anyway, there is more information about me on my profile. Feel free to take a look there or catch me on another site★


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